Ways to love yourself in wedding photos

The vast majority of my clients don’t feel comfortable in front of a camera (until they work with me of course!) and I feel exactly the same way. I’m not someone who hates my face - I feel quite indifferent to it - but I don’t often see myself in photos and ‘love’ it. And when it comes to wedding photos, that’s not ideal. So how do you learn to love yourself in photos? My first tip would be get yourself into therapy and learn to love your inner child, and theeen…

HAVE A PRE-WED SHOOT

I really do believe the absolute best way to put any anxiety around your wedding photos at bay is to get out there and have a pre-wed shoot. Not only will you be able to get gorgeous photos in a second location that is personal to you, perhaps at a different time of year or with the flexibility to hold out of an epic sunset, but you will have time to get these photos back and understand more what it is that you love or don’t love. And on the wedding day itself muscle memory will kick in and you’ll know exactly what to do.

stop filtering your selfies

I know, I know. It’s so easy to get used to the beauty filters tiktok or insta stories or even zoom throws on your face. When everyone else seems to be doing it, why should you be the only one out there with real life blemishes or heaven forbid a forehead wrinkle? Because, the only way to learn to love your face is to look at and get used to your actual face. As someone who regularly shows up online and in real life barefaced and unfiltered I know how scary it was at first. But it’s been over a decade since I decided to ditch softening my face for everyone elses benefit, I can assure you my life is infinitely better for it.

Unfollow anyone who doesn’t make you love yourself

Be brutal. I have made a personal decision to mute or unfollow people who use heavy filters, promote thin-ness or have normalised fillers, botox and body-altering apps. It’s not good for my mental health and I don’t need to see it. They don’t make you feel good? Bye, felicia.

have fun with disposables, polaroids and point and shoot cameras

In my personal life I use film over phones and my digital beasts. Why? Because it’s fun, it looks timeless and there is NO EDITING! No immediately scrolling through and finding flaws in myself. No re-dos. No obsessing over getting the perfect shot. You get what you get and I honestly believe it’s the most mindful way to take and be in photos. (A cheeky reminder here that we shoot film at weddings too and you can add on 35/120mm and Super 8 which is TO DIE FOR.)

Wear something that you ‘feel’ great in

You categorically will not like yourself in photos if you are wearing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I’d way rather you show up to your wedding in a cosy jumper and crocs and galavant in how joyous you feel than be wearing a one of a kind insert designer brand that makes you feel miserable. It might be comfort that makes you feel amazing or colour. It could be your dream pair of shoes to kick in the air or a cape-veil that you just wanna swish in. If it makes you feel fantastic than you will love yourself in those photos.

take the pressure off of you by using all the props!

Your wedding photos don’t all have to be ‘staged’ moments or still frames of you smiling softly at the camera. My approach is always the more candid the better, and the best way to achieve these kinda shots is by having something to play with! If you know me at all you’ll know how much I adore a confetti moment (and you can buy the worlds best confetti from my pals at Flutter, Darlings and get 15% off with my friend code: MELLON). It could be smoke grenades, a champagne spray, confetti cannons, sparklers, pulling a sofa outside, cigars, streamers, blow-up lightsabers, mirror balls - the more creative the better!

diversify your social feeds and follow all sorts of bodies

One of the best things you can do in the journey to loving your body is surround yourself with all body types - which may take some curating on your social feeds. We are pushed the same thin, white, cis, non-disabled, conventionally beautiful bodies over and over again and it’s so normalised that it can be a surprise to see anything other than that in and out of the wedding world. Insta feeds like those of Sofie Hagen, Megan Jayne Crabbe and Shooglet are a fab place to start.

tell that inner saboteur to fuck right off

I know it’s not quite as easy as that, but learning to recognise when the little demon voices start to pipe up with negative self-talk and shutting it down will have an impact on how you see yourself in photos and in day to day life. It’s a practice and something that takes time. Understand what triggers that voice and share it with your partner, find a fun phrase you can both use when it rears it’s ugly head, and you will be able to love yourself in your wedding photos.

do things you love doing and have some friggin’ fun

The best way to love yourself in your wedding photos is to have some bloody fun. Do things you love doing. Whether that’s starting your day with a sea-swim and forcing your best people to join you. Getting a band in for the daytime to mosh about festival-style. Going to the pub for a pint. Hiring a venue with a Victorian Carousel you can spin on to your hearts content. Does it make you happy? Do it. And the photos will tell that story.

Enjoyed this read? Check out some more of ‘Nine Ways’ series, such as Nine Ways to have a Feminist Wedding and Nine Ways to have Neurodivergent Friendly Wedding - and let me know what you think!